![]() Though almost completely unknown today and no longer working in Hollywood after embracing Evangelical Christianity, there was a period of time when it looked like Vanity could become a major sex symbol. Stamos is quite a bit of fun here, essentially playing a typical 1980’s Teen Comedy hero lost in a violent low budget 1980’s Action film, and it is that dissonance that creates an added layer of enjoyment to this film. And yes, we do see Gene Simmons use his tongue, if only for one scene.Īnd while Simmons is the star of the show here, he is far from the only reason this film works. Gene Simmons here is pretty much playing Gene Simmons playing Dr. Yes, this entire thing is really this weird. ![]() Velvet also doubles as a rock star, giving glam rock inspired performances to biker gangs in fetish clubs. He is, according to the film, half man and half woman, which makes him better than the rest of us according to Gene Simmons’ character. And while the presence of several well-known performers here is great, it is Gene Simmons that really steals the show make helps make this as wonderful as it is. In many ways, this film stands as a monument to all what was wonderfully excessive and fucked up about the mid-1980’s. I mean sure John Stamos wasn’t exactly a big name then, then still mostly known for TV work, and Robert Englund is here too, just as he was establishing his Freddy Krueger persona, but how did they get George Lazenby to be in this? And the fact that there was a time when Gene Simmons was actually considered a way to dray people in to see a movie amuses me to one end. One thing that is amazing about this film is how many well-known people are in it. I know it sounds like I’m just being funny here, but that really is just how insane this film comes across. ![]() Frank-n-Furter in The Rocky Horror Picture Show who then proceeded to pop a couple mollies and then walked onto the set of another movie, a movie where part of a script to a James Bond rip off and part of a script to a Mad Max rip off were destroyed, but instead of rewriting those lost parts, the filmmakers decided to combine what was left of the two remaining scripts. The best way to describe this movie is to imagine if Gene Simmons was cast as Dr. What makes this movie so wonderful is how bonkers it is with its influences. So here is the plot, after spy Drew Stargrove (George Lazenby) is killed by the half-woman, half-man criminal overlord (the movie’s description, not mine) Velvet Von Ragner (played by Gene Simmons) his son Lance (John Stamos), who was already an amauture spy dispite having no idea what his father did, teams up with his dad’s former partner in spying Danja Deering (Vanity) to bring an end to Velvet’s criminal empire, which plans to poison the city’s water supply forever. This is one of the most gloriously over the top films I have seen from the genre, a film that tries to slam together a bunch of other genres in hopes that they all stick together and the results are truly something to behold. ![]() And folks, I was wrong because far from being a fun, if ultimately forgettable, time killer, Never too Young to Die is one of the most glorious slices of 1980’s Action movie schlock I have ever seen. Going into Never too Young to Die I expected a fun, if empty and ultimately forgettable time killer to watch before I moved onto the films I designed 1980’s Action Month around, stuff like Red Scorpion and Deadly Prey. It certainly looked interesting and quite a few people whose opinions I value liked it, but beyond that I did not know much about it and had only reasonable expectations for, but all the same it was an Action movie made in the 1980’s and it fit the bill so I added it to the list of films to watch. I stumbled upon Never too Young to Die almost by accident while searching for movies to review for the month. ![]()
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |